The night was hot, wait no, the night, the
night was humid. The night was humid, no wait, hot, hot. The
night was hot. The night was hot and wet, wet and hot. The
night was wet and hot, hot and wet, wet and hot; that's humid.
The night was humid.
-----
Larry Donner:
The night was dry, yet it was raining.
-----
Mrs. Lift:
The night was sultry.
-----
Mrs. Hazeltine:
"Dive! Dive!" yelled the Captain through the
thing! So the man who makes it dive pressed a button, or a
something, and it dove. And, the enemy was foiled again. "Looks
like we foiled them again," said Dave. "Yeah," said the Captain.
"We foiled those bastards again. Didn't we, Dave." "Yeah,"
said Dave. The End.
-----
Larry Donner:
[C]riminals don't age, Lester! It's a common
fact. Criminals and Dick Clark!
-----
Larry Donner:
It was a murder mystery, three pages long,
that, by the way, was no big trick in finding the murderer!
Owen Lift:
Well, what gave it away?
Larry Donner:
You only had two characters . . . one of which
was dead on page two!
-----
Mrs. Lift:
Who the Hell are you?
Larry Donner:
I'm Owen's friend.
Mrs. Lift:
Owen doesn't have a friend.
Larry Donner:
That's because he's shy.
Mrs. Lift:
No, he's not; he's fat and he's stupid.
-----
Owen Lift:
Owen loves his momma!
-----
Larry Donner:
Your similes need a little bit of work. "His
guts oozed nice, like a melted malted." Well, it's a, it's
a little . . .
Mrs. Hazeltine:
Too harsh?
Larry Donner:
A tad.
-----
Larry Donner:
Remember, a writer writes . . . always.
-----
Larry Donner:
This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky, it's
entitled: "One Hundred Girls I'd Like to Fu**."
