| Will Lightbody: |
Toast. |
| A waiter: |
And, how would you like that, sir? |
| Will Lightbody: |
Toasted, dry, on its own, on a plate. |
| ----- |
| William Lightbody: |
If this is the healthiest place on Earth, why
is everybody dying?! |
| ----- |
| William Lightbody: |
[W]ith friends like you . . . |
| Charles Ossining: |
Who needs enemas? |
| ----- |
| Poultney Dab: |
[Y]our son, George, he's throwing projectiles. |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Projectiles? |
| Poultney Dab: |
Corn flakes boxes, sir, at the guests. |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Boxes? Our corn flakes? |
| Poultney Dab: |
No, sir. |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Not my brother's? |
| Poultney Dab: |
No, sir. They're corn flakes boxes, but there's
no corn flakes in them. They have Rice Carolina. |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Rice Carolina? |
| Poultney Dab: |
Well, in a manor of speaking. Actually, used
Rice Carolina to be more precise. |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Used? |
| Poultney Dab: |
I think young George has gained access to the
latrines. |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Latrines? |
| Poultney Dab: |
He's throwing boxes of sh** at the guests! |
| ----- |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
[C]orn is the Indian's gift to the new world,
but the corn flake is my gift to the entire world. |
| ----- |
| Charles Ossining: |
[Y]ou can't sell empty boxes, no matter what
it does to the bowels! It has to mean something. We have to
make something. |
| ----- |
| George Kellogg: |
You have a very nice body, Mrs. Nicebody. |
| Eleanor Lightbody: |
Lightbody, Mrs. Lightbody. |
| ----- |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
It is my scientific conclusion that sex is
unnecessary and dangerous. |
| ----- |
| Will Lightbody: |
[Y]ou were being manipulated! |
| Eleanor Lightbody: |
Handabung therapeutic! |
| Will Lightbody: |
Don't give me that German crap! He was handabunging
you! You let a stranger handabung you! |
| Dr. Lionel Badger: |
Heir Spitzvogel is a doctor! |
| Will Lightbody: |
And you, you ginger haired pimple. You were
masturbating! |
| Dr. Lionel Badger: |
Sir, I was not! |
| Will Lightbody: |
I saw you with my own eyes! |
| Dr. Lionel Badger: |
I was massaging my colon! |
| Will Lightbody: |
Massaging your colon?! I know where the colon
is, and it doesn't stick up in the air! |
| ----- |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
[I]'m convinced that I will live forever because
my bowels are immaculate! |
| ----- |
| George Kellogg: |
Give us a cuddle, Daddy. |
| ----- |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Your stool, Mr. Lightbody, quite frankly, is
pathetic. Formless, mushy, and foul smelling. Take it away
nurse. |
| Will Lightbody: |
How should they be? |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
My own stools, sir, are perfect--they are gigantic!
And, have no more odor than a hot biscuit. |
| ----- |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
I warn your, sir, an erection is a flagpole
in your grave. |
| ----- |
| Dr. John H. Kellogg: |
Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body. |
|
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