| Roger De Bris: |
Wait a minute! This is a very big decision.
It might effect the course of my entire life. I shall have
to think about it . . . I'll do it. |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation! |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
You're an accountant. You're in a nobile profession.
The word "count" is part of your title. |
| ----- |
| Roger De Bris: |
Mr. Bialystock and Bloom, I presume. Forgive
the pun. |
| Leo Bloom: |
What pun? |
| Max Bialystock: |
Shut up! He thinks he's witty. |
| ----- |
| Leo Bloom: |
Ahem, ahhemm, cough, cough, ahemmm . . . |
| Max Bialystock: |
I assume you're making those cartoon noises
to attract my attention. |
| ----- |
| Franz Liebkind: |
Churchill! With his cigars, with his brandy,
and his rotten painting! Rotten! Hitler, there was a painter.
He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon--two coats! |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
Leo, how many percentage of a play can there
be all together? |
| Leo Bloom: |
Max, you can only sell one-hundred percent
of anything. |
| Max Bialystock: |
And, how much of "Springtime for Hitler" have
we sold? |
| Leo Bloom: |
Twenty-five thousand percent. |
| ----- |
| Old lady: |
[A]fter that, we'll play, "The Abduction and
the Cruel Rape of Lucrecia." And, I'll be Lucrecia. |
| Max Bialystock: |
And, I'll be Rape. |
| ----- |
| Leo Bloom: |
I'll do it. I'll do it. |
| Max Bialystock: |
Thank you. I knew I could con you. |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
Oh, Lord, hear my plea. Destroy him, he maketh
a blight on the land. |
| Landlord: |
Don't listen to him, he's crazy. |
| ----- |
| Leo Bloom: |
Oh my God, I mean, excuse me. |
| Max Bialystock: |
You mean, "Oops," don't you. Just say, "Oops,"
and get out! |
| Leo Bloom: |
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah . . . |
| Max Bialystock: |
Not "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah," "Oops!" |
| ----- |
| Leo Bloom: |
My blanket! My blue blanket! Give me my blue
blanket! |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
[W]e came here to talk about your play. |
| Franz Liebkind: |
My play? You mean, "Springtime for" you-know-who? |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
Speak dummy! Speak! Why don't you speak?! |
| Leo Bloom: |
Scared! Can't talk! |
| ----- |
| Max Bialystock: |
Having a good time? |
| Leo Bloom: |
I don't know. I feel so strange. |
| Max Bialystock: |
Maybe you're happy. |
|
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