| Police officer: |
[I]'ve never seen anyone drown in a bowl of
chili before. |
| Police officer: |
Me neither. I wouldn't even know how to fill
out the forms on that. |
| ----- |
| Beula Balbricker: |
[W]ould you kindly keep your balls off my tumbling
mat? |
| ----- |
| Pee Wee Morris: |
Hey, Billy, Jenny just went in! |
| Billy: |
Hey! You're not allowed to think about her
with her clothes off! You aren't even allowed to look at her
with her clothes on! |
| ----- |
| Wendy Williams: |
Is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? |
| ----- |
| Coach Roy Brackett: |
We could put up wanted posters all over school:
Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beula Balbricker.
Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and
dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker
room at Angel Beach High School. |
| ----- |
| Coach Roy Brackett: |
[T]hat's angel food cake. You touch her and
the Food and Drug Administration will get ya for fu**ing food. |
| ----- |
| Mickey: |
Pee Wee, you're about to get laid by an exotic
dancer in a few hours. That's a real woman. |
| Pee Wee Morris: |
Yeah, you're right. I gotta go home and warm
up! |
| ----- |
| Tommy Turner: |
Well, you know my motto: give me pussy, or
give me death. |
| ----- |
| Brian Schwartz: |
[W]hen you're Jewish you either learn to fight,
or you take a lotta sh**. I don't like to take sh**. |
| ----- |
| Pee Wee Morris: |
Now, I'm going tonight, right?! |
| Tommy Turner: |
I don't know, Pee Wee. Even a nymphomaniac
has standards. |
| ----- |
| Tommy Turner: |
This is the pride of Angel Beach, Anthony Tuperillo,
affectionately known as "Meat." |
| Cherry Forever: |
My God, the boy's deformed. |
| ----- |
| Porky: |
Here comes your night to remember! |
|