What is the most frustrating thing about police
work?
Sgt. Eugene Tackleberry:
Not being able to carry hand grenades, sir.
Sgt. Callahan:
Separate locker rooms, sir.
Sgt. Carey Mahoney:
Icky blue uniforms.
-----
Zed:
Gene, Gene, make a machine,
And, Joe, Joe, made it go.
Art, Art, blew a fart,
And, blew the whole damn thing apart.
-----
Arnie:
They're gonna send me to jail, and some fat
hairy guy is gonna . . .
Sgt. Carey Mahoney:
May I approach the bench, your Honor?
-----
Zed:
Cadets, I'd now like to discuss something that'll
be vital for you to know when you, like, out there, on the
job, as a police officer. And, that's the correct way on how
to eat a doughnut.
-----
Arnie:
Look, Kyle, I got a boat load of stuff to do.
I got a term paper due tomorrow, and a history test. I gotta
help my father clean the cellar. And, I have to do the dishes
tonight. What are you doing?
Kyle:
I'm gonna get the guys and hang out at the
mall.
Arnie:
Let's go.
-----
Capt. Harris:
Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!
-----
Commandant Lassard:
I want to welcome all of you to the academy.
You are part of a new and exciting program, that I call, I
call . . .
Zed:
Cop.
Commandant Lassard:
Cop!
Zed:
Citizensonpatrol.
Commandant Lassard:
Citizensonpatrol.
Zed:
Citizens On Patrol!
Commandant Lassard:
Citizens On Patrol!
-----
Capt. Harris:
Why don't you just kiss my rosie red ass, Mahoney?
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