Coach Giddy:	Listen to me you crazy frog! I want food we can eat! Burgers, doggies, home fries, eggs over-easy, I'll go as far as French toast, but nothing, nothing fancy!
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Boomer:	I think I got a fish in my pants. Oh no, wait, that's just me.
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Sgt. Paladin:	You called, sir?
Col. Batjack Hershey:	Of course I'm called sir, I'm a bloody Colonel, aren't I?!
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Coach Giddy:	Listen to me you pipsqueak, pistol-packin', package of paramilitary paranoia!
Lt. Foxglove:	How do you say that so fast?
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Larry:	That's mine!
Barry:	It's mine!
Larry:	Who's mom love best?
Barry:	Me.
Larry:	So, you wanna take the shirt, too?
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Larry:	I'm going first.
Barry:	You always go first.
Larry:	Who was born first?
Barry:	Me.
Larry:	So, give me a break, will ya?
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Tommy:	Not unfunny.
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Mother:	[R]emember, boys only want one thing.
Daughter:	What's wrong with that?
Mother:	They never want it when you want it.
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Col. Batjack Hershey:	A lisp. God damnit, Foxglove, I heard a lisp!

CAST
Coach Giddy (Richard Mulligan)
Col. Batjack Hershey (Hamilton Camp)
Lt. Foxglove (John Larroquette)
Sgt. Paladin (Blackie Dammett)
Mother (Elayne Boosler)
Daughter (Nancy Glass)
Boomer (Joe Nipote)
Tommy (David Hollander)
Larry (Paul Stout)
Barry (Scott Stout)