| King Arthur: |
[W]hat are you then? |
| French Soldier: |
I'm French. Why do think I have this outrageous
accent, you silly king. |
| Sir Galahad: |
What are you doing in England? |
| French Soldier: |
Mind your own business. |
| ----- |
| French Soldier: |
You don't frighten us, English pig-dog! Go
and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose
on you, so-called Arthur-king, you and your silly English
kiniggets. |
| ----- |
| French Soldier: |
I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed
animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction.
You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. |
| ----- |
| Monks: |
Pie Jesu domine,
Dona eis requiem. |
 |
| ----- |
| King Arthur: |
The swallow may fly south with the sun, or
the house martin or the plover seek warmer climes in winter,
yet these are not strangers to our land. |
| Soldier: |
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? |
| ----- |
| The Dead Collector: |
Bring out your dead. |
| ----- |
| Knights of the Round Table: |
We're knights of the round table,
We dance whenever we're able,
We do routines, and chorus scenes,
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat ham, and jam, and spam a lot. |
| ----- |
| Sir Lancelot: |
We were in the nick of time. You were in great
peril. |
| Sir Galahad: |
I don't think I was. |
| Sir Lancelot: |
You were, Sir Galahad. You were in terrible
peril. |
| Sir Galahad: |
Look, let me go back in there and face the
peril. |
| Sir Lancelot: |
No, it's too perilous. |
| ----- |
| King Arthur: |
Well, who is your lord? |
| Dennis' Mother: |
We don't have a lord. |
| King Arthur: |
What? |
| Dennis: |
I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicist commune,
we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer
for the week. |
| ----- |
| King Arthur: |
Now stand aside, worthy adversary. |
| The Black Knight: |
'Tis but a scratch. |
| King Arthur: |
A scratch?! Your arm's off. |
| The Black Knight: |
No it isn't. |
| King Arthur: |
Then what's that then. |
| The Black Knight: |
I've had worse. |
| ----- |
| Monk: |
And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no
more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count,
and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt
thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou
then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number
three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being
naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." |
| ----- |
| The Black Knight: |
Right, I'll do you for that. |
| King Arthur: |
You'll what? |
| The Black Knight: |
Come here. |
| King Arthur: |
What are you gonna do, bleed on me? |
| The Black Knight: |
I'm invincible! |
| King Arthur: |
You're a loony. |
| ----- |
| The Black Knight: |
Have at you! |
| King Arthur: |
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight
is mine. |
| The Black Knight: |
Oh, had enough, aye? |
| King Arthur: |
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms
left. |
| The Black Knight: |
Yes I have. |
| King Arthur: |
Look! |
| The Black Knight: |
Just a flesh wound. |
| ----- |
| Tim: the Enchanter: |
Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor!
For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so
fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived.
Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave
knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come
nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big
pointy teeth! |
| ----- |
| Narrator: |
As the horrendous black beast lunged forward,
escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When suddenly,
the animator suffered a fatal heart-attack. The cartoon peril
was no more. |
| ----- |
| King Arthur: |
Run away! |
| ----- |
| Tim: the Enchanter: |
There it is! |
| King Arthur: |
Where? |
| Tim: the Enchanter: |
There. |
| King Arthur: |
What, behind the rabbit? |
| Tim: the Enchanter: |
It is the rabbit! |
| ----- |
| Sir Robin: |
You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared! |
| ----- |
| The Old Man from Scene 24: |
What is your name? |
| Sir Lancelot: |
My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot. |
| The Old Man from Scene 24: |
What is your quest? |
| Sir Lancelot: |
To seek the Holy Grail. |
| The Old Man from Scene 24: |
What is your favorite color? |
| Sir Lancelot: |
Blue. |
| The Old Man from Scene 24: |
Right, off you go. |
|
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