| Rube Baker: |
I never has a regular girlfriend like you,
but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought
that I would be hurting for the rest of my life, but you know
what happened the very next week? |
| Rick Vaughn: |
What? |
| Rube Baker: |
My momma died. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
As you know Monte, Vaughn has been working
on a couple of new pitches: the Eliminator, and the Humiliator;
to compliment his fast ball, the Terminator. |
| Monte: |
I heard that. |
| Harry Doyle: |
Dynamite drop in, Monte. That broadcast school
has really paid off. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
That looked like the Terminator, only slower.
Maybe it was his out-of-stater, or it could have been the
Hibernator--that baby is definitely going away for the winter.
Whatever for Vaughn, it might be see-ya-later. He's probably
gonna become a spectator. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
The outfield walls now look like the yellow
pages. And, any of you folks having trouble finding a good
proctologist might want to come down here and check out the
area around the 375 foot sign. |
| ----- |
| Rube Baker: |
Women--you can't live without 'em, and they
can't pee standing up. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
Back goes Cerrano. He'll need a rocket up his
ass to catch this one. That baby is outta here. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
[T]aylor is going to send in Hayes to run.
Went to see his movie, but it was only out for two-and-a-half
hours. I was told, however, it was in focus. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
Good news, fans. The Indians are showing signs
of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact,
they appear to be beating the crap out of each other. |
| ----- |
| Rube Baker: |
They're gonna send me back to Omaha, and I
don't even live there. |
| ----- |
| Rube Baker: |
[Y]ou're standing on the tracks, and the train's
coming through, butthead. |
| ----- |
| Jake Taylor: |
Okay, Rick, let's get nasty. |
| ----- |
| Rube Baker: |
[T]here ain't no odds against beating yourself
no matter what the percentages are. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
Somebody caught it! |
| ----- |
| Jake Taylor: |
You name your pitches now? |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
Humiliator, lined to left. Base hit. Eliminator,
lined to right. Another base hit. There's some real puss lined
to center. |
| ----- |
| Rick Vaughn: |
I've got a new one I'll show you. You get a
piece of it, I'll let you name it. |
| Jack Parkman: |
I'd, uh, call it the masturbator. |
| ----- |
| Jack Parkman: |
I'm the only winner on the team, the rest of
'em are losers--either by choice, or by birth. |
| ----- |
| Pedro Cerrano: |
I free and clear. |
| Rick Vaughn: |
Did he say "free and queer"? |
| Pedro Cerrano: |
Clear! Free of anger and hostility that run
Cerrano's life! |
| ----- |
| Johnny: |
Mild Thing, you make my butt sting! |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
So, the Indians have a runner. I think I'll
wet my pants. |
| ----- |
| Rube Baker: |
Willie's really got some power. |
| Lou Brown: |
Off a guy who'll be bagging groceries in a
couple weeks! |
| ----- |
| Rube Baker: |
What are they? |
| Jake Taylor: |
"They" are our center fielder. |
|
