| Lou Brown: |
Better teach this kid some control before he
kills somebody. |
| ----- |
| Pedro Cerrano: |
I'm pissed now, Joboo. Look, I go to you. I
stick up for you. You no help me now, I say, fu** you, Joboo.
I do it myself. |
| ----- |
| Rachel Phelps: |
I wanna put together a team that will help
us relocate to Miami. |
| Charlie Donovan: |
What do ya mean? Some of these guys are furniture
movers? |
| ----- |
| Lou Brown: |
You may run like Mays, but you hit like sh**. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
Monte, anything to add? |
| Monte: |
Uh, no. |
| Harry Doyle: |
He's not the best colorman in the league for
nothing. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
One hit. That's all we got, one Goddamn hit?! |
| Monte: |
You can't say "Goddamn" on the air. |
| Harry Doyle: |
Don't worry. Nobody's listening anyway. |
| ----- |
| Harry Doyle: |
Just a reminder fans about "Die Hard Night"
coming up at the stadium: free admission to anyone who was
actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant. |
| ----- |
| Rachel Phelps: |
Any ideas? |
| Charlie Donovan: |
On how we can get worse? How about a series
of fines for good play? Maybe a thirty-thousand dollar bonus
for the guy voted least valuable player? |
| ----- |
| Charlie Donovan: |
Must be Cerrano. Defected from Cuba, wanted
religious freedom. |
| Lou Brown: |
What's his religion? |
| Charlie Donovan: |
Voodoo. |
| ----- |
| Willie Mays Hayes: |
Willie Mays Hayes, here. Play like Mays, and
I run like Hayes. |
| ----- |
| Director: |
I've never heard of half of these guys. And,
the ones I do know are way past their prime. |
| Charlie Donovan: |
Most of these guys never had a prime. |
| ----- |
| Lou Brown: |
Every newspaper in the country has picked us
to finish last. The local press seems to think we'd save everyone
a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves.
Me, I'm for wasting sports writers' time. So, I'd like to
hang around and see if we can give 'em all a nice big sh**burger
to eat. |
| ----- |
| Lou Brown: |
I thought you didn't have any high priced talent. |
| Charlie Donovan: |
Forget about Dorn 'cause he's only high priced. |
| ----- |
| Willie Mays Hayes: |
Cerrano wants some extra power for tonight.
He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Hey, Jake, man,
we can't have people puking in the locker room before the
game. |
| ----- |
| Charlie Donovan: |
What are ya saying? You want us to lose? |
| Rachel Phelps: |
No. We've been losing. What I want is for us
to finish dead last. |
| ----- |
| Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn: |
You put snot on the ball? |
| Eddie Harris: |
I haven't got an arm like yours. I got to put
anything on it I can find. Someday you will too. |
| ----- |
| Jake Taylor: |
[Y]our a celebrity now, Vaughn. |
| Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn: |
I thought you had to do something good to be
a celebrity. |
| Jake Taylor: |
Not if you do it colorfully. |
| ----- |
| Jake Taylor: |
This guy's the out you've been waiting your
whole life for. |
| ----- |
| Lou Brown: |
[I] want the absolute truth here. Are you one
hundred percent? |
| Jake Taylor: |
Yeah. Would I bullsh** you about something
like that? |
| Lou Brown: |
You better, you wanna make this team. |
| ----- |
| Pedro Cerrano: |
Hats for bats. |
|
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