| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
Where were you when you were drafted? I was
just curious. |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
Back home. I told you before. |
| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
No, I mean, what were you doing? Were you like
a resident, or on staff someplace? |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
Umm. |
| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
Where? |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
Hospital. |
| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
Which hospital? |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
Back home. |
| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
Is there some reason I shouldn't know which
hospital? |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
I don't know, I will ask. Is there some reason
my friend should not know the name of the hospital? There
doesn't appear to be any reason. |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
No, no, no! No food, no food. Bring me sex,
I want sex, bring me some sex! No, no, no! That one. Being
me that one, over there. That one, the sultry bitch with the
fire in her eyes! Take her clothes off, take her clothes off,
and bring her to me! |
| ----- |
| Maj. "Hot Lips" Houlihan: |
I wonder how a degenerated person like that
could have reached a position of responsibility in the Army
Medical Corps? |
| Father "Dago Red" Mulcahy: |
He was drafted. |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
[F]air is fair. If I nail Hotlips, and punch
Hawkeye, can I go home? |
| ----- |
| Maj. "Hot Lips" Houlihan: |
This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!
And, it's your fault! |
 |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
Would you care to imbibe, sir? |
| Maj. Frank Burns: |
I don't drink. |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
Jesus Christ, I think he means it! |
| ----- |
| Gen. Hammond: |
I have a report here, Henry, from your, from
your chief nurse, Major O'Houlihan. Now, she makes some accusations,
Henry, I, I find pretty hard to believe. |
| Lt. Col. Henry Blake: |
So, don't believe them then. Thank you, General,
good bye. |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Painless Pole" Waldowski: |
Alright, bub. Your fu**ing head is comin' right
off. |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
Frank, were you on this religious kick at home,
or did you crack-up over here? |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
Somebody get that dirty old man out of this
operating theater. |
| ----- |
| Sgt. Gorman: |
Goddamn Army. Goddamn Army Jeep! |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
Frank Burns has gone nuts! I'm wearing glasses
for God sakes. |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
Watch out for you goodies, Hawkeye. That man
is a sex maniac, I don't think Hotlips satisfied him. Don't
let him kiss you, Hawkeye. |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Duke" Forrest: |
I'll bet she's not a real blond. |
| Capt. "Hawkeye" Pierce: |
How dare you say that about an officer of the
United States Army, sir. |
| ----- |
| Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre: |
[H]ow many times do you get to go to Japan
with your golf clubs? |
|
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