Although, so far there's no known treatment
for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint
himself with the three early warning signs of death: one,
rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.
-----
Newscaster:
The popcorn you're eating has been pissed in.
Film at eleven.
-----
Newscaster:
Rams plagued by fumbles as earthquakes rock
Los Angeles. Film at eleven.
-----
Newscaster:
Moscow in flames, missiles headed toward New
York. Film at eleven.
-----
Newscaster:
I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven.
CAST
Henry Gibson (Himself)
Newscaster (Neil Thompson)
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