| Ferris Bueller: |
I do have a test today, that wasn't bullsh**.
It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point?
I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who
gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist
anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't
own a car. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
The key to faking out the parents is the clammy
hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer
in it. A lot of people will tell you a good phoney fever is
a deadlock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up
in a doctor's office--that's worse than school. You fake a
stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing,
you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but
then so is high school. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and
look around once in a while, you could miss it. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
A person should not believe in an "-ism," he
should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe
in Beatles, I just believe in me." |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's
getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go
for ten, I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So, I
better make this one count. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
[W]e can't pick up Sloane in your car. Mr.
Rooney would never believe Mr. Peterson drives that piece
of sh**. |
| Cameron Frye: |
Not a "piece of sh**." |
| Ferris Bueller: |
It is a piece of sh**. Don't worry about it.
I don't even have a piece of sh**. I have to envy yours. |
| ----- |
| Cameron Frye: |
The 1961 Ferrari, two-fifty GT California.
Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years
restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion . .
. |
| Ferris Bueller: |
It is his fault he didn't lock the garage. |
| ----- |
| Jeanie Bueller: |
[T]his is not a phoney phone call. There is
an intruder: male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird,
in my kitchen. My, my, my name is Bueller . . . look, it's
real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better. But,
I'm in danger, okay? I'm very cute, I'm very alone, and I'm
very protective of my body--I do not want it violated or killed,
alright? I need help! Speaking in English?! Dickhead! |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
A) You can never go too far. B) If I'm gonna
get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's
that for being born under a bad sign? |
 |
| ----- |
| Cameron Frye: |
Ferris, my father loves this car more than
life itself. |
| Ferris Bueller: |
A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't
deserve such a fine automobile. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that
if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd
have a diamond. |
| ----- |
| Sloane Peterson: |
Cameron, what's gonna happen to it? It's in
a garage. |
| Cameron Frye: |
It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed
on wrong, a pigeon could sh** on it. Who knows? |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
I'm takin' the day off. Now get dressed and
come on over. |
|
| ----- |
| Jeanie Bueller: |
You're letting him stay home? I can't believe
this! If I was bleeding out my eyes you guys would make me
go to school. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
How could I possibly be expected to handle
school on a day like this? |
| ----- |
| Edward R. Rooney: |
[T]he example he sets is a first class ticket
to nowhere! |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
They bought it. Incredible. One of the worst
performances of my career, and they never doubted it for a
second. |
| ----- |
| Cameron Frye: |
Ferris Bueller, you're my hero. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
Cameron, dear friend, you thought we wouldn't
have any fun. Shame on you. |
| ----- |
| Ferris Bueller: |
Four-thousand restaurants in the downtown area,
I pick the one my father goes to. |
|
