No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their
clothes makes me feel closer to them.
George Weiss:
You're not a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No, I'm all man. I even fought in WWII. Of
course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
[I] was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime,
grab some dinner, maybe?
Vampira:
You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No, no, I'm just a transvestite.
-----
Bunny Breckenridge:
How do you do it? How do you get all your friends
to get baptized just so you can make a monster movie?
-----
Orson Welles:
Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your
life making someone else's dreams?
-----
Bunny Breckenridge:
What about glitter? When I was a headliner
in Paris, audiences always loved it when I sparkled.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No!
Bunny Breckenridge:
Cat's eyes?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No!
Bunny Breckenridge:
Well, I'm going to need some antennae.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No! You're the ruler of the galaxy, show a
little taste!
-----
George Weiss:
I don't make major motion pictures. I make
crap.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star
in it, then you've got something.
George Weiss:
Yeah, crap with a star.
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Worst film you ever saw? Well, my next one
will be better.
-----
Bela Lugosi:
Beware, beware, beware of the big green dragon
that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys, puppy-dog
tails, and big fat snails. Beware, take care, beware.
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Why if I had half a chance, I could make an
entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on
these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them,
but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called
in to solve the mystery.
Film Room Man:
You forgot the octopus.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater
climax.
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Now, what is the one thing if you put it in
a movie it'll be successful?
George Weiss:
Tits.
-----
Criswell:
[W]e're in showbiz. It's all about razzle dazzle--appearances.
If you look good and you talk well, people will swallow anything.
-----
Dolores Fuller:
Wood Productions--the mark of quality.
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
This story's gonna grab people! It's about
this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes to wear
dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell her?! He's
torn, Georgie! This is drama!
-----
Bela Lugosi:
Goddamn it's cold!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
It'll warm up once you're in it.
Bela Lugosi:
Fu** you! You come out here!
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
I met Bela Lugosi.
Dolores Fuller:
Well, I thought he was dead.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
No, he's very much alive . . . well, sort of.
-----
Paul Marco:
[C]ops!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
We don't have a permit. Run!
-----
Bela Lugosi:
Pull the string! Pull the string!
-----
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
My girlfriend still doesn't know why her sweaters
are always stretched out.
-----
Bela Lugosi:
This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've
ever been in.
CAST
Edward D. Wood, Jr. (Johnny
Depp)
Bunny Breckenridge (Bill Murray)
Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau)
Dolores Fuller (Sarah Jessica Parker)
Criswell (Jeffrey Jones)
Paul Marco (Max Casella)
George Weiss (Mike Starr)
Vampira (Lisa Marie)
