Louis Corsican:	You ever had a taco? I guess they don't have tacos in France. I remember one time this restaurant I used to work . . . err . . . I mean, own. They had a contest to see who could eat the most. I ate 143, and I was still hungry, but they had to close the restaurant.
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Louis Corsican:	That's the famous Marquis du Hickey: legendary lover--makes Casanova look like a school boy. He's a trisexual.
Lucian Corsican:	Trisexual?
Louis Corsican:	Yeah, he'll try anything, mud, chickens, anything.
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The Evil Fuckaire:	Don't be a stupid Fuckaire
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Louis Corsican:	I'm your brother, Louis.
Lucian Corsican:	Liar, my brother wasn't Mexican.
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Louis Corsican:	Fuckaire, the only thing I want to say is: you've kept me in a dungeon, and you've beaten me, and you've tortured me, and you even kissed me. And, I want these people to know that the only thing you've really done is make me really, really hungry.
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Lucian Corsican:	What have you done?
Louis Corsican:	I didn't do nothing, man. I was just washing her hair and it all came out.
Lucian Corsican:	You've made her look bad, that's good. It's a small victory, but a big one.
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The Evil Fuckaire:	Believe me, if you weren't a woman, I'd kiss you for that.
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Lucian Corsican:	I forgot my hand.
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The Evil Fuckaire:	[N]ow, I'm going to whip you to death.
Lucian Corsican:	You may whip us, but you'll never beat us.
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Lucian Corsican:	Hey, let's go to America and start a revolution!
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Louis Corsican:	I'm so hungry, I could eat a bowl of lard with a hair in it.

CAST
Louis Corsican (Cheech Marin)
Lucian Corsican (Tommy Chong)
The Evil Fuckaire (Roy Dotrice)