| Brian Johnson: |
Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we
had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever
it was we did wrong. But, we think you're crazy to make us
write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us
as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most
convenient definitions. But, what we found out is that each
one of us is: a brain . . . |
| Andrew Clark: |
And an athlete . . . |
| Allison Reynolds: |
And a basket case . . . |
| Claire Standish: |
A princess . . . |
| John Bender: |
And a criminal. |
| Brian Johnson: |
Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
What do you guys do in your club? |
| Brian Johnson: |
In physics we, uh, we talk about physics, uh,
properties of physics. |
| John Bender: |
So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but
social. Right? |
| ----- |
| Brian Johnson: |
I'm a fu**ing idiot 'cause I can't make a lamp? |
| John Bender: |
No, you're a genius 'cause you can't make a
lamp. |
| Brian Johnson: |
What do you know about trigonometry? |
| John Bender: |
I could care less about trigonometry. |
| Brian Johnson: |
Bender, did you know without trigonometry there
would be no engineering? |
| John Bender: |
Without lamps there'd be no light. |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
Now, this is the thought that wakes me up in
the middle of the night: that when I get older these kids
are gonna take care of me. |
| Carl: |
I wouldn't count on it. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he
gets up . . . we'll all get up . . . it'll be anarchy! |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
You're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What would
you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen? |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle
under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. She
lays the poodle on the table. The bartender says, "I suppose
you won't be needing a drink." Naked lady says . . . oh sh********! |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
I wanna be just like you. I figure, all I need
is a lobotomy, and some tights. |
| Brian Johnson: |
You wear tights? |
| Andrew Clark: |
No, I don't wear tights. I wear the required
uniform. |
| Brian Johnson: |
Tights. |
| Andrew Clark: |
Shut up! |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
[B]rian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All
the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? |
| Brian Johnson: |
Uh, no, Mr. Johnson. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
You keep eating your hand, you're not gonna
be hungry for lunch. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Show Dick some respect! |
| ----- |
| Andrew Clark: |
[S]peak for yourself. |
| John Bender: |
Do you think I'd speak for you?! I don't even
know your language. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Don't you ever talk about my friends! You don't
know any of my friends! You don't look at any of my friends!
And, you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of
my friends! So you just stick to the things you know: shopping,
nail polish, your father's B.M.W., and your poor, rich, drunk
mother in the Caribbean! |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Screws just fall out all the time, the world's
an imperfect place. |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
What was that ruckus?! |
| Andrew Clark: |
Uh, what ruckus? |
| Richard Vernon: |
I was just in my office and heard a ruckus. |
| Brian Johnson: |
Could you describe the ruckus, sir. |
| ----- |
| Andrew Clark: |
Two hits: me hittin' you, you hittin' the floor. |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
[W]hen I say essay, I mean, essay. I do not
mean a single word repeated a-thousand times. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? |
| ----- |
| Claire Standish: |
You know why guys like you knock everything? |
| John Bender: |
Oh, this should be stunning. |
| Claire Standish: |
'Cause you're afraid. |
| John Bender: |
Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly
why I'm not heavy into activities. |
| ----- |
| Andrew Clark: |
If I lose my temper you're totaled, man! |
| John Bender: |
Totally? |
| Andrew Clark: |
Totally. |
| ----- |
| Allison Reynolds: |
My home-life is unsatisfying. |
| Brian Johnson: |
So, you're saying that you would subject yourself
to the violent dangers of these Chicago streets, because "your
home-life is unsatisfying"? |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
You get along with your parents? |
| Andrew Clark: |
Well, if I say "yes," I'm an idiot, right? |
| John Bender: |
You're an idiot anyway. But, if you say you
get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too. |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
False alarms are really funny, aren't they.
What if your home, what if your family . . . what if your
dope was on fire? |
| John Bender: |
Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear. |
| ----- |
| Claire Standish: |
I'm not fat. |
| John Bender: |
Well, not at present, but I can see you're
really pushing maximum density. |
| ----- |
| Claire Standish: |
Can I eat? |
| John Bender: |
I don't know. Give it a try. |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
You think anyone is gonna take your word over
mine. I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around
here. I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack-a-sh**. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Being bad feels pretty good, huh? |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
The next time I have to come in here, I'm crackin'
skulls! |
| ----- |
| Andrew Clark: |
This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen.
You realize you made yourself sixty-eight. |
| Brian Johnson: |
Oh, I know, I know. I goofed it. |
| Andrew Clark: |
What do you need a fake I.D. for? |
| Brian Johnson: |
So I can vote! |
| ----- |
| Richard Vernon: |
Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll
get the horns. |
| ----- |
| Brian Johnson: |
Excuse me for being a virgin. I'm sorry. |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Eat my shorts. |
| ----- |
| Brian Johnson: |
Chicks cannot hold their smoke, that's what
it is. |
| ----- |
| Andrew Clark: |
Yo, wastoid, you're not gonna blaze up in here! |
| ----- |
| John Bender: |
Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady
dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto. Level with me. Do you slip
her the hot beef injection? |
| ----- |
| Brian Johnson: |
Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we
had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever
it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong, but we think you're
crazy to make us write an essay, telling you who we think
we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us,
in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.
You see us as: a brain, an athlete, a basket case, princess,
and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other
at 7 o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed. |
 |
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