| Slam the Rapper: |
Today is the last day of the rest of your life! |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
I could have been anything. I could have been
a fisherman. Fishermen, they get up in the morning, they fish,
they sell fish, they smell fish. Reminds me of a girl I used
to go with, Yvonne. She smelled like fish. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
You're 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing
moment in your life! |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
You see what I'm saying to you? That's what
I'm saying. What am I saying? I don't know! |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Keith Richards is rolling over in her grave. The frigin'
guy isn't even dead yet! |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
They write about cases like these in the private
eye handbook, honey. Something about a ten foot pole. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
So many a**holes, so few bullets. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Write down my number, it's 555-6321, got it? |
| A woman: |
Yeah. Wait a minute, 5-5-5's not a real number,
they only use that in the movies. |
| Ford Fairlane: |
No sh**, honey. What do you think this is,
real life? |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Have a Twinkee, snapperhead. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
I've heard cats fu** with more harmony than
this kid. |
| ----- |
| Girl: |
Ford, we just needed to be held! |
| Ford Fairlane: |
You got the bonus plan. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
I'm so terrifical, I even had my own toll-free
number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Nice tie, Lt. Anus, sir. |
| Lt. Amos: |
Are you calling me an a**hole, a**hole? |
| Ford Fairlane: |
I'm calling you an anus, anus. But, if you
prefer. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Now you pay . . . it's called Citizen's Castration. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Top of the world, ma! |
| ----- |
| Tourist: |
We're from Wisconsin. |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Yeah, and I'm from my dad's penis. Get outta
here. |
| ----- |
| Johnny Crunch: |
Guys like you, you do grow on trees. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
Shake me, Jazz. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
You're just in time to see what I refer to
as: solving the case. It's cute. I think you'll like it. |
| ----- |
| Ford Fairlane: |
[W]hat are your names? Neil and Bob, or is
that, like, what you do? |
|
Advertisement